Though we've had beautiful weather over the last couple of days and even though I've had no real worries to worry about, I feel a slight shade of depression pass through my head.
It's 20+ degrees outside and I've just gotten back from my second walk of the day. What do I walk for? Well it's not for collective thinking, I do it for exercise, but of course walking doesn't really stimulate the mind and as a result my mind often wonders off.
Over the last couple of days my mind has been reaching back into my childhood. Oh, how I miss it. It may sound stupid, but I miss the days of fun without a care in the world. The days of innocence where I was sheltered from all things evil. (yes, you can roll your eyes)
I remember those sunny and warm days back in Calgary when me and my friends used to go for endless bike rides. The sky was blue and clear of clouds, the air warm, yet fresh with the sound of birds... Actually I experienced all of those weather traits the other day, but it just isn't the same.
I remember those days when my best friend (Alex) and I went out bike riding out for the afternoon and didn't have to come back home until the sun was setting. Looking back it's almost a surreal feeling.
Apparently, when you "grow up" you're supposed to leave that all behind. Look towards your future and cope for yourself. You go from cartoons to girls, from playing with matchbox cars to actual work. Too bad it couldn't have lasted longer.
One thing that I love is when I'm watching television shows I watched long ago. As of Recent, I've been watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Should I be embarrassed for saying that?
I dunno, but I don't feel embarrassed. It was such a kick ass show.
My childhood or teenage years as you might describe aren't over, but there was a point in those years where me and my father experienced some hardships. Hardships which made me drop all things reminiscent of my childhood. I didn't want anything to remind me of "them". As for the particular items, television shows to music, you name it.
If you've read my blog for some time you might remember a post I did on a musician by the name of Loreena McKennitt. I mentioned I hadn't listened to her for a long while and now you know why. I detached myself from her and the same goes for music like U2 and Alanis Morssiette. They were the soundtrack of my early years.
My personal issues have now long passed and I find myself listening to those musicians once again (some striking nerves, some not). My road to recovery started long ago, but I believe I've still some time before it's all resolved in my mind. Had I not had music or cars to occupy my mind over the last six years I'm not sure what I would have done.
As the sun blazes away, I sit here among my model car collection and my music.
Rush's "Afterimage" is the perfect song to represent my above post. This song might have only be written for an individual, but I see it as much more, I see it representing everything.
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